Why palm trees you ask? (or probably haven't)
Well, for me palm trees bring a sense of calmness, freedom & peace. They make me think of holidays, the warm tropics, pina coladas.. a few of my favourite things.
My slight obsession with palm trees and all things tropical was forced onto Whittaker, well before she was with us. Our nursery theme was always going to be tropical, weather we had a boy or a girl-a neutral theme.
If I found any baby things with palm trees on it, I HAD to have it-for Whittaker.
Whittaker had a personalised night lamp, swaddles and muslin wraps, prints, clothes, hula girls on her draws all tropical themed and ready and waiting for her in her nursery. I found the cutest "hello" announcement plaque with 2 palm trees on it. We also had a beautiful palm tree mural on her nursery wall above her cot.
When your baby dies, there are many scary moments that you brace yourself for in those first few days. Having a memorial service for your baby, the last time you hold them in your arms, having to say goodbye for the final time. The thing I found the most terrifying was the thought of my baby being alone in a casket all by herself with the lid closed. We had been with Whittaker from the moment she was born to the moment she was placed in her casket to be cremated. The thought of her being in there without me, was just so daunting and traumatising.
A few days earlier, Ryan suggested we take her palm tree mural off her wall and put it on the inside of her casket lid. I instantly felt a bit of relief. We ripped the ugly old satin and lace off the inside of the casket and Whittaker's Uncle spent some time fitting her palm tree mural onto the lid. We also decorated the top of her lid with special messages and drawings. Our baby girl had a piece of her home with her and she was surrounded by paradise and all our love on her way to the other side.
Whittaker’s daddy also has a few palm tree tattoos dedicated to his girl.
I am now so glad to have that strong connection between Whittaker and palm trees because I can feel her everywhere if I look hard enough. We can spot palm trees anywhere and it makes us smile. It's a gentle reminder that she is with us, always. I also get messages from people saying they’re thinking of Whittaker whenever they’re around palm trees or see something with palm trees on it and that truly makes my heart so happy.
To know my baby girl is resting in paradise and waiting for me on a little island under a palm tree with all the little friends she has made and all her passed ancestors holding her tight until I see her again, brings me so much comfort.
Save a spot for me baby girl.. I'll meet you under the Palm Trees.